Q Crashing

December by: Q dedicated to my daughter I never knew December could bring such warmth. A cold month of staying inside, trying to find comfort.  But this December seems different.  It has not been like the rest I've seen.  This one is so warm it melts men more than the hottest days.  Where usually frigid wind blows now love rises from giggles.  Light shines bright from a simple smile. My heart changes.  It loves deeper than it has in a while.

Join me and my wife, Audrey along with Amber @ The Run a Muck , as we write our marriage letters to shine light on the joy and truth of marriage, along with the struggles.  Marriage is worth fighting for. Audge, I knew you loved me when we found a rock that was perfect in Mentone.  When our hands met in the forest and beauty of nature was eclipsed by the beauty of that moment. I know you love me when the couch becomes our new perfect place, or the bench, or the car, anywhere where we can be close enough to understand each other without words. I knew you loved me when you charged in beside me.  Into whatever battle, mission, or story that God is orchestrating for us.  You hold on and move forward.  For longer stretches than I thought possible. I knew you loved me when we dreamed together.  All our stories have main characters that do not change. I know you love me when you do the small things that make me smile.  Garbage cans moved,...

So when I moved to Eugene the only writing I had done was poetry.  But at my first job I met a guy who wrote short stories and he invited me to join in with him in writing on different themes and genres.  So I've been giving it a shot and I really enjoy it.  I like dealing with the emotions on drastic played out stages.  I think because they bring to light my own struggles that happen in smaller scales.  I've found that writing has become a passion of mine.  I have always loved stories and reading and now I can't quit thinking about how stories progress.  I'm meeting with a group of five guys on gathering our stories and possible putting up a website to showcase them.  I'll let you know if it happens.  Ultimately I hope people find some joy in the stories.  God gave us creativity and to be able to use it for others enjoyment is pleasant and seems right.  I'm not going to fill blogs with short stories, but I thought I would leave an ...

So this is where I work now.  But to be honest calling it work just seems weird.  It is the mission field God has placed me in.  That feels better.  If any of you have ever been on a mission trip you realize how you forget the worldly things around you and just focus on serving and somewhere in the process you get changed.  The unhindered serving somehow allows God to move in your life in new ways, fresh ways, and humbling ways.  You walk away from the experience different.  I feel like that is what the Eugene Mission is doing to me.  When I found out I had gotten the job here I came out with guns a blazin and ideas flying everywhere.  For those of you that know me, typical Q fashion.  But as I slowed down and led my life meld with the men around me and let their stories become part of mine I started to become a different character.  God began dealing with things in my heart.  Not new things, but old, like pride, being judgm...

Fat Man's Walk Have you ever seen a fat man's walk. It's quite a sight to see. It's very simple in its design, but holds a quaint complexity. It seems at any moment the man could topple down, but he is actually firmly planted to the solid ground. Gravity is his greatest friend and toughest enemy. Every single step he takes is filled with adversity. Shirts are riding up  because they're way too tight and it seems the pants he wears never fit quite right. So if you see him coming please don't stare and laugh. You could be there one day too and it could be coming fast.

So here we are.  A little over a year into the journey here in Eugene and it feels like we are on the cusp of something awesome.  Tonight I am meeting with a group of trustees from a church that may let us use their building on Sunday nights to begin the church plant called The Beautiful Mess.  Our team here on the ground is looking to partner with a couple of amazing men who have been doing ministry in this area for quite some time.  The partnership would look like a group of people setting up a mission outpost in the middle of the most unbelieving are of Eugene, The Whittaker District.  The guys are Ethan Hollub and you can check out stuff he is doing here .  He has been an associate pastor and missionary in several countries.  More than anything he has a heart to see the Gospel change Eugene.  The other guy is Ken Harvey.  Ken is currently the director of Hosea Youth Services which works with homeless youth.  He was also a youth mini...

Join me and my wife, Audrey along with Amber @ The Run a Muck , as we write our marriage letters to shine light on the joy and truth of marriage, along with the struggles.  Marriage is worth fighting for. Audge, If I'm honest, sometimes I'm jealous for your job.  Especially on days when my office is flooded with the homeless who are struggling to find easy answers to very hard questions.  Like how do I deal with cancer and be homeless, or why can't I get over my families death, or how do I get meds for my psychosis.  I feel like I'm trying to patch up holes in the titanic with band-aids.  Add on to that the development of a discipleship program for the complex, staff meetings, team management, and social activities planning and I feel like many days I'm swimming in stormy water.  Keeping my head above water and breathing comes off as success.  Then there is the church planting aspect of everything.  I feel the weight of decisions bein...

If you've never read the Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning you must pick it up.  It is incredible.  Found this video today and just love the passion this man has for Jesus.  If we can let the love of Christ be what shapes our every decision our lives become something all together new and beautiful.  Had to share.

This poem is by Joe Scwin who is one of the guest staying at the Eugene Mission.  I think it is amazing how people in the face of hard circumstances can persevere.  We Lean On Faith by Joe Scwin When we find ourselves asking questions that nobody has answers to we lean on faith. When the world gets to darn crazy,  and life runs us down,  we lean on faith. If it looks like love has forgotten us and loneliness is all around, we lean on faith. Faith is what brings us hope. It's what steers our course. Gives us guidance to cope. We lean on faith. So when you're lost and confused lean on faith. When it looks like there is nothing else to do... lean on faith.

I just wanted to say how much I love my wife.  I literally may be the most exhausting person to exist with.  I'm always wrestling with what God is wanting next and moving to change things within culture so that God's glory and love would be seen.  In the process my life runs a million miles a minute and I constantly stomp the gas.  At as I'm stomping away my wife is always holding my hand.  She has stood by my through every stupid decision and every good one no matter how difficult it may look.  Here is a poem about how it feels to be married to Audge. Unearned Love I can't keep up with all the noise around. It is too loud and too fast. I'm running after thoughts and ideas and concepts that seem to good to last longer than my imagination. But they do cause they are eternal and right. They are the pathways carved before  time farther away than our sight is able to see. And standing there is you. Somehow a gift is given in the ...

So last night me and a couple of my friends went to the Frank Turner concert here in Eugene.  I first saw Frank when he opened for Flogging Molly in Atlanta.  So I thought I would do a review of the show and how God breaks my heart of things.  If you haven't listened to Frank Turner, he has an amazing voice and is modern day folk with rock undertones.  Many of his lyrics, especially from his first album, were full of passion and challenges of living life for a purpose.  I'm a sucker for good lyrics that are inspirational.  When his latest album came out it became evident that he struggled in the whole idea of God and faith.  He wrote a song called Glory Hallelujah that tries to make the point that "there never was no God."  It was a little disheartening when he began to sing this song and people raised their hands and rejoiced in the song.  Before he sang it he stated that some people they may hate it and disagree with e...

Join me and my wife, Audrey along with Amber @ The Run a Muck , as we write our marriage letters to shine light on the joy and truth of marriage, along with the struggles.  Marriage is worth fighting for. Audge, I feel horrible today and I feel a bit inadequate to even write this letter.  This is one of my weak spots on so many levels.  Primarily on the point that I want to fix every issue that comes up in our lives and relationship instead of just "being there" for you and showing patience in times of uncertainty.  I think I feel like a failure when I'm not able to fix whatever problem or issue arises.  The problem is you can't build a tower of cards in 30 seconds or you topple the whole thing.  I need to slow down in life and particularly in our relationship and show patience in our conversations. What's really convicting is that you do this much better than me.  When you are upset you are willing to take time and cool down and then r...

One day a couple of weeks ago I got home and the weather was pretty nice so I decided to do something with my oldest daughter.  I love her so much.  She has the most amazing personality and a huge heart.  Whenever we get the opportunity I like to take her out on what we call Daddy Deci dates.  This day we decided to go down to the park for a little bit and then get some frozen yogurt on the way back home.  You should know that whenever I take my daughter to any playground she absolutely must play with every single thing at the playground at least once.  Her favorite stopping points at the playground close to the house are the slides, the swings, and the sandbox.  On the slides, I get to catch her.  On the swings, I get to push her.  But in the sandbox, I get to dream with her.  I love it. I have a hope that me and my family will do ministry together for a long time, but as I watch my daughter build, design, and play I see the dreamer...

 I want to thank Brooke Davidson for sharing her experiences here.  She is an amazing woman who is serving God with her life even when it looks unconventional.  Her honesty and humor are refreshing and her passion is convicting.  I hope to let her do this more often.  Her twitter name is @brookeisaflower.  Not Every Trip is Kumbaya It’s a cold day in February. well okay not really cold.. just kinda cold. nothing compared to the temperature in Nepal. my time spent there really made me appreciate the little things like... taking a hot shower, using a toilet, sleeping on a real mattress, and not having mice running behind your head while sleeping. not having to drink tea with butter in it or mystery meat that you dare not to ask questions about. things that we take for granted here in America.. were things that i longed for in Nepal. but what i longed for the most was a relationship with the Lord, our God, our Savior, my best friend. i mea...

I am the director of ministry and social services at the Eugene Mission.  This is an amazing job where I am expected to help men and women experience the love and restoration that God has for them.  Of course there is nothing I am doing, but as I allow God to use me, He is changing people around this place all the time.  But maybe one of the people He is changing the most...is me.  Many of the men on our Discipleship Program hold positions of service.  Some work the kitchen, some sort paper for recycling and some supervise programs for the hundreds of guest who come through our doors for temporary services(shower, food, or bed).  Many of these men and women have been here for years. One of the guys at the mission found out this last Friday that he has terminal cancer.  Today he came by my office.  I felt helpless.  He told me they said he only had 3 to 4 months to live, but that they could possibly prolong it with radiation treatment. ...

Quiet, searching for meaning? No, not meaning.  More of a cleansing. An ordained, predestined connection. Not of some special election, but of a drifting away from creation. From our place.  From our starting destination. Why does the beginning seem so far while I seem so marred. It is not that the beauty has disappeared. It is that I have been taught to fear the path that leads back to God. He is my refuge, my peace, my rod and my staff.  In Him I will rest. Only in Him I find my true purpose.

Join me and my wife, Audrey along with Amber @ The Run a Muck , as we write our marriage letters to shine light on the joy and truth of marriage, along with the struggles.  Marriage is worth fighting for. Audge, So I really don't think we're that opposite.  I mean there are some things like how I love scary movies and you are more a romantic drama type girl.  I'm a huge fan of mayonnaise and milk.  You hate both.  Okay, maybe there are more differences than I imagined.  Our styles are quite different.  In fact, I think you tell me I don't have a style most of the time.  The thing they say about differences is that you have to compromise with your spouse.  Somehow I think we missed the class on compromise.  Maybe it's because the one thing we are so much alike on is our stubbornness.  I think sometimes compromise for us looks like two cars crashing into each other at 90mph.  But somehow in the mids...

Last night, me and Zach, one of the guys here on mission with The Crash , made our way to Portland.  Great conversation ensued, but there was a longing to hurry and get there.  The reason being is that Nick and Brandi Longshore were flying in to hang out for a week.  It was so awesome to be able to sit around and joke again with them.  I've missed them much.  Last night as I was going to sleep I began asking myself why I felt all this emotion with the idea of my friends hanging out in Eugene this week.  I came up with two answers. Nick and Brandi are fellow bondservants.  Throughout the Gospel Paul writes to people with such love and compassion.  He talks of longing to see them and how he rejoices in hearing about their stories.  It seems that he misses these people so much.  He calls Timothy his dear son.  It seems that people Paul had ministered with held special places in his heart.  That's what I feel with Nick and Brand...