Q Crashing

So what am I back at... Trying to serve God? Trying to be like Jesus? Trying to show my wife as much love as my heart feels? Trying to be a good dad? Trying to impact a community? Trying to live. Trying to live in a way that is good and right and full. Trying to live in a way that makes others smile and makes God smile and makes me smile. Trying to live free from the constraints of this world. I miss and enjoy at the same time. Miss so many great friends in Oregon and enjoy the old relationships rekindled after four years of smoking. Miss comrades at Izakaya Meji. Enjoying times on the porch. Miss big mountains and enjoy warm water. Miss community and enjoy family. This is just one more step to the end. The end of this life leads to the one that last forever. There try and miss will disappear. I will strive to lead others to that forever. It is better than this. It is everything. It is our hope.

I want to start by saying, in no way is what we have chosen the best or only way out there.   We just feel it's our way this season. But here is why we chose this path:  When we moved to Oregon we knew our oldest would be going into school.  The great thing is that there are many options for school here.  Private Christian Schools, homeschooling, and the county even let's you enter lotteries for any of the many public elementary schools around.  So when the day came, Audrey and I had much to talk about. We really felt that God had led our family to try our best to make big decisions as missionaries walking in faith.  This led us to believe that the school that was literally just around the corner from our house was a prime mission field.  The coolest part is that Decmeber got to be the lead missionary here.  She would dictate relationships and she would be at the center of decisions of our family involvement.  This has been so beautiful t...

GET TO 300:   Last year I loss and kept off around 45 pounds.  I have another 35 pounds to go and I’ll be down to 300.  This is where I entered college at.  It has been a constant struggle for me, but God is teaching me to view it in light of his Gospel.  Less stress eating and more trusting that he is in total control.  More eating for God’s glory, not mine. DATE MORE OFTEN:  I’ve been blessed with 4 amazing women in my life.  My beautiful wife and three super cute and adorable daughters.  I want to find more time to spend with them.  More date nights with my wife and more daughter/daddy dates.  They are the precious gifts God has given me and I want to slow down and enjoy them.  READ MORE FICTION:  I read quite a lot.  But it is mainly Christian authors talking about theology or missionology or ideology or any other ology you can think of....

So I learned today, very clearly, that things are real that I don't understand. Now many of you are saying "No Duh".  But for me it is a bit of a revelation.  For instance, my wife and I have argued forever about migraines.  She would tell me they were super bad headaches that make light hurt your eyes and make you nauseous and can cause you to throw up and want to crawl into a cave and enter hibernation for the next five days.  My response?  All headaches are the same, some folks just have lower pain tolerance. I didn't win the greatest husband award for that comment and I know they are real, but it gives some insight into how I handle situations.  I have a southern highschool football mentality when it comes to life.. "suck it up son" "walk it off" "you hurt or are you injured" "just put some tobacco juice on it" These four comments in my (stupid)opinion have solved the majority of my problems...but not really. To...

So here is the truth.  Being a missionary is HARD! Many days my family longs to be back in our hometown where we have so many long time friends and 30 years of memories.  What is so amazing is when God gives some rest.  Sometimes through encouragement or calls or opportunities. This last weekend it came as a contemplative prayer retreat with some awesome guys.  Five of the guys were from our Crash team and some guys we are planting here with in Eugene joined us.  What did we do?  Prayed and got quiet and listened. (Zach, missionary and amazing friend) We started with the Shabbat meal on Friday night welcoming in the Sabbath.  John Rice was our host and facilitator for the weekend. Then we rested, ate, prayed, and filled out minds with scripture. Here is what I walked away with.  I need to listen to God more.  There is this struggle in my heart to experience the fullness of life.  Many times I think this comes th...

Audrey and I have been married for 3034 days yesterday.  It's been a great adventure.  Thought I would catalog days from time to time.  Here are the highlights. I got up a little later than planned and took up some of the shower time that December needed to get ready for school.  Somehow I feel that it is inevitable for to be shoved out to the little bathroom by the garage.  The girls have began their takeover.  I then had to leave in a rush and left Audrey in a decent position, if you don't count December out of shower with shampoo stuck in her hair, Journey screaming, and Harlow eating anything and everything off the floor.  I got to work at the Eugene Mission which is an amazing place to work.  I get to be a missionary to hundreds everyday.  It started raining as I pulled in, but decided to take the guys for a morning run in the run.  We have 18 men who are participating in what we call the Life Change Program.  This means th...

Honestly, I struggle to lead. I worry I will let people down or mess things up somehow. But really to lead all we need is humility and submission to God. My flesh wants to run from the leadership opportunities that present themselves, but who am I to run from where God places me. I want to live in God's will and do his work and step up anytime he gives me the chance. To lead is to serve. We will fail as leaders, but we will learn, and we will grow. Our failures only make us more broken and humble, which allows us to listen better. In leadership, God's voice is the one that matters. Our voice will falter and quake, but God's is strong, calm, and persistent.