Q Crashing

GET TO 300:   Last year I loss and kept off around 45 pounds.  I have another 35 pounds to go and I’ll be down to 300.  This is where I entered college at.  It has been a constant struggle for me, but God is teaching me to view it in light of his Gospel.  Less stress eating and more trusting that he is in total control.  More eating for God’s glory, not mine. DATE MORE OFTEN:  I’ve been blessed with 4 amazing women in my life.  My beautiful wife and three super cute and adorable daughters.  I want to find more time to spend with them.  More date nights with my wife and more daughter/daddy dates.  They are the precious gifts God has given me and I want to slow down and enjoy them.  READ MORE FICTION:  I read quite a lot.  But it is mainly Christian authors talking about theology or missionology or ideology or any other ology you can think of....

So I learned today, very clearly, that things are real that I don't understand. Now many of you are saying "No Duh".  But for me it is a bit of a revelation.  For instance, my wife and I have argued forever about migraines.  She would tell me they were super bad headaches that make light hurt your eyes and make you nauseous and can cause you to throw up and want to crawl into a cave and enter hibernation for the next five days.  My response?  All headaches are the same, some folks just have lower pain tolerance. I didn't win the greatest husband award for that comment and I know they are real, but it gives some insight into how I handle situations.  I have a southern highschool football mentality when it comes to life.. "suck it up son" "walk it off" "you hurt or are you injured" "just put some tobacco juice on it" These four comments in my (stupid)opinion have solved the majority of my problems...but not really. To...

So here is the truth.  Being a missionary is HARD! Many days my family longs to be back in our hometown where we have so many long time friends and 30 years of memories.  What is so amazing is when God gives some rest.  Sometimes through encouragement or calls or opportunities. This last weekend it came as a contemplative prayer retreat with some awesome guys.  Five of the guys were from our Crash team and some guys we are planting here with in Eugene joined us.  What did we do?  Prayed and got quiet and listened. (Zach, missionary and amazing friend) We started with the Shabbat meal on Friday night welcoming in the Sabbath.  John Rice was our host and facilitator for the weekend. Then we rested, ate, prayed, and filled out minds with scripture. Here is what I walked away with.  I need to listen to God more.  There is this struggle in my heart to experience the fullness of life.  Many times I think this comes th...

Audrey and I have been married for 3034 days yesterday.  It's been a great adventure.  Thought I would catalog days from time to time.  Here are the highlights. I got up a little later than planned and took up some of the shower time that December needed to get ready for school.  Somehow I feel that it is inevitable for to be shoved out to the little bathroom by the garage.  The girls have began their takeover.  I then had to leave in a rush and left Audrey in a decent position, if you don't count December out of shower with shampoo stuck in her hair, Journey screaming, and Harlow eating anything and everything off the floor.  I got to work at the Eugene Mission which is an amazing place to work.  I get to be a missionary to hundreds everyday.  It started raining as I pulled in, but decided to take the guys for a morning run in the run.  We have 18 men who are participating in what we call the Life Change Program.  This means th...

Honestly, I struggle to lead. I worry I will let people down or mess things up somehow. But really to lead all we need is humility and submission to God. My flesh wants to run from the leadership opportunities that present themselves, but who am I to run from where God places me. I want to live in God's will and do his work and step up anytime he gives me the chance. To lead is to serve. We will fail as leaders, but we will learn, and we will grow. Our failures only make us more broken and humble, which allows us to listen better. In leadership, God's voice is the one that matters. Our voice will falter and quake, but God's is strong, calm, and persistent.

We always here how Jesus healed us and he has many of us in many ways.  The most critical our sin debt that existed.  But I think this sometimes makes us smug.  Yep smug. We sit in churches feeling good about all God has done for us and we go to our jobs and we make our money and we buy our toys and we hang with our social groups and we go on our token mission trips and we say prayers (sometimes) and we continue in the worlds system with a bit of a better moral compass and a fuzzy feeling that God love us so much. I just want to be honest.  The more I live down here, the more I feel wounded by Jesus.  Not in a bad way per say.  It just feels bad sometimes.  But I think it's right.  The more we follow Jesus the less comfortable the world and it's ways are to us. When Jacob wrestles with God he walks away with a limp.  He walks away wounded.  His experience changed him so much that he would never walk in the same way in this life. ...

Some of my favorite scripture is in Jeremiah.  I just relate with much of the emotions that Jeremiah exudes.  The unbelief that God would use someone as young as him and as ill equipped as him.  The struggle with going to hard places.  And the worry of safety. My favorite in all of Jeremiah is in chapter 15.  In one of his many times of doubt and struggle he verbalizes his issues to God so well. "Lord you know I am suffering for your sake.  Punish my persecutors! Don't let them kill me!  Be merciful to me and give them what they deserve!   Your words are what sustain me.  They bring me great joy and are my heart's delight, for I bear your name, O Lord God Almighty. I never joined the people in their merry feast.  I sat alone because your hand was on me.  I burst with indignation at their sins.  Why then does my suffering continue?  Why is my wound so incurable?  Your help seems as uncertain as  ...